(Chase Bank, woman looking bored with her existence, starts scrolling through accounts in computer, sees the account of a long-time and quite beautiful customer (me) and has an evil look on her face)
Bank Exec: (laughs maniacally) I have a diabolical plan to ruin the life of a loyal customer. MWAHAHA! When she visits her mother in Canada, and uses her debit card, I will instruct the fraud department to freeze her checking account, thereby stopping all scheduled payments on her credit cards, and wreaking havoc on her life - I will then lower her credit limits and raise her APR to 5000% - thusly making MY life worth living....I'm so evil it's insane, I scare myself sometimes!!!
(She steps out of her cubicle, and on the way to the bathroom she trips a customer, kicks a dog, and spits in the face of a baby.)
Bank Exec: Oh maniacal me!
Here is my baked penne pasta recipe, since everyone knows that pasta is the only possible solution to credit card stress.
Make a nice cream sauce with milk and add a blob of cream cheese - or if your APR is really high, forget the milk and just go for the cream base AND add the cream cheese.
Season with paprika, a dash of tumeric for color (not too much because I am not that crazy about the flavor), a bit of garlic powder. Heat the sauce and whisk in the cream cheese until blended.
Layer the cooking pan with half of the cooked penne and a generous portion of grated cheddar cheese
Repeat another layer and then pour all of the cream sauce over the pasta and grate more cheddar cheese on top. Then grate crackers or bread crumbs to make the crust, dab with chunks of butter and parmesan.
Bake in the oven (or, in my case, the toaster oven) until the sauce is bubbling and the top is crispy and browned. (Everyone likes the crispy topping.)
Later, I will give you the update on my ongoing battle with Chase Bank and how many pounds I gained.